feelin crummy

walker is sick sick sick.

i have been holding his limp roasting body all day. i kinda feel bad saying it, but its been nice to snuggle that little bug. he is so active, & i never get to hold him on my lap for more than a few seconds. i do like his happy self much better though. its like a piece of me is gone with out his spunky cheery self around. i am giving him the most love and safe from germ kisses i can to help him feel better.

and because no one likes to see pictures of ill children, here is walker on a happier day playing in the mud at the park.

fancy free

we have been spending most of our afternoons at the playgrounds. the weather in the arizona desert has been beautiful and i hate to see it leave. we are just soaking up this cool breezy air.

and this little gal has learned to pump on the swings all by herself.

awesome?

you bet.

complete freedom.

what brings me joy on a monday, with my husband home, and no school for addie?

sleeping in (7am).

no morning rush to get ready and out the door.

lunch at olive garden for soup, salad and bread sticks.

the kids have been begging me to go the new olive garden down the street. they were pretty excited to go to a fancy place.

it was yummy!

then we visited grandma and grandpa and ate brownies right out of the oven with them.

perfect timing to visit i would say!

then off to home depot and the local nursery for plants and veggies for the yard.

the flowers are just lovely.

we picked up some roses for the yard. we will going back for a visit to pick up a tangerine or peach (we cant decide) tree and some bushes for the front yard.

we are also extending our back patio, so concrete will be on the list. im super excited about that. there will be a lot of room and shade for swim parties, evening bbqs and riding bikes.

then off to goodwill we did go.

we purchased this great radio flyer trike for walker. it is decked out with 2 bells and streamers.

awesome!

on the way home we headed to the farmers market and filled our cart with the cheapest, yummiest produce. blueberries were 2 huge cartons for $1.00. addie was thrilled! she loves her blueberries.

the day flew by so fast, and before we knew it, it was 4 pm. the girls jumped on the tramp, daddy filled up the garden with more soil and i cooked a yummy dinner. the girls went to bed without hesitation and i snuggled in my warm bed, under my down comforter and played connect 4 with my love on his phone.

that is what brings me joy on a monday, with my husband home, and no school for addie.

yesterday afternoon.

wake up walker from his nap.

pick up addie from school.

make chicken salad sandwiches for lunch.

have a picnic under the trampoline in the backyard

play outside and enjoy the perfect weather.

drink green smoothies for an afternoon snack.

that was our wonderful afternoon.

dinner for 2

mark and i rarely go out on valentines. we like to spend it at home, in our comfy clothes. we dont have to fight the crowds or pay a tip.

this year, we fed and bathed the kids, and after they were tucked into bed we had a quiet, candle lit dinner of our own. i seem to always make him a steak dinner. since i dont buy it that often it is a special treat. we also had baked potatoes and bacon wrapped asparagus. does that sound like a man meal or what!

mark loves cream pies, so i topped off the meal with a homemade chocolate cream pie. 

yum. 

we settled in on the couch and watched a movie afterward.

it was great.

just being with my love and talking and being alone was what we needed. 

 i love him so much. he is always there for me, supporting me, comforting me, serving me. we have come so far and been through so much together. im so glad its him that im sharing this life with.

xoxo, J

love me tender

I'm a little Valentine,

red and white.

With ribbons and lace,

I'm a beautiful site.

I can say " I love you",

on Valentines Day.

Just put me in an envelope,

and give me away.

- Addies poem that she recited in school.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

XOXOXOXOXO

will you be my valentine?

i LOVE LOVE valentines day. it makes me happy. my mom made valentines day really special for us as kids so its embedded in me. but how can you not like a holiday thats all about letting the people you care about most,  know that you love them and celebrate that love?

we put together some valentines for our loved ones and friends.

these are the pictures we chose from the girls photo shoots to put on their valentines.....

i know! cute right!?

and here they are......

we added some m&ms in a bag for a little goodie to go with it.

the girls loved them! they were/are so excited to show all of their friends.

i went in to addies school on friday for their valentine day party. i had a blast. we decorated bags for their mailboxes, frosted and decorated cookies, and passed out valentines. addie came up to me in the back of the class and put her arms around my neck and gave the longest smooch on my cheek. she had no worries about her friends seeing, and i adored it! i love helping out there. her teacher is great and they are learning so much.

anyway..... the girls found the safest place in the house to sort through all of addies loot.
on the top bunk... away from the candy monster... walker.

100th day of school

addie chose to put 100 hearts on her poster for the 100th day of school.

i think she did a darn tootin good job.

addies valentine photoshoot - outtakes

this girl kills me.

she did all her own poses.

she was so excited.

she is cute.

i found this red frock at a antique store in payson last weekend and had to snatch it up. i adored it. i think it will be really cute with some mary janes or saltwater sandals for the summer. yes?

love her!

Dear Diary,

today was a great day!



i woke up early this morning. i prayed and read a scripture before the kids arose. im pretty sure thats what made my day great. i read a scripture that basically said, if we have faith, the Lord will give us mercy and will make us mighty in the things that he has called us to do. he has called me to be a mother. he is cheering me on in that calling. he knows what im going through. the knows what i want for my kids and he will make me mighty and strong to teach them the right ways and things that they should know, and he will help me.

i finished canning the chicken that my mother in law gave me. i have about 50 cans in the pantry waiting to be made into gravy, enchiladas, chicken salad and whatever else.

i also picked all of the lemons and oranges off our tree this morning. callie helped me for about 3 min. and then she was done. so we talked while i picked and just enjoyed the cool air and being outside. the smell of lemons filled the air with every pick. we ended up with 4 bags of lemons and 3 bags of oranges.



i love citrus. i LOVE fresh OJ. we made lemon ice cream for family home evening last night. we couldnt get enough, the kids had 3rds. it was great.



we went to the library today. i love library day. i love flipping through all of the rows and rows of books. i love getting home and sitting on the big chair with the girls and reading every single one of the books. just relaxing and reading stories. again... so great.

the children's quiet time is up and im back on duty.
sincerely,
Jessica

sneek peek

this morning i did a little photo shoot with the girls to incorporate into their valentines.

here are a few cute sneek peeks of my callie cat.

love her smile!

have a great weekend everyone. xo

here is proof that i am still having fun and not always a debbie downer, like my last post.

ive been to my dr since then, and everything is working itself out. this phase in my life is hard.  you are probably going through this phase with me. the young children stage. there is no need to give a definition for the young children stage, you know what it is. ha!
i sat down at my computer late last night and found some resources that really gave me peace.
here were some of my favorites at the time.

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God
Infinite Power of Hope
Lifting Burdens
Come What May and Love It


i added some happy music to my side bar. i turn it on and dance around my kitchen with my kids. its great. feel free to do the same.
and to finish this post off, im going to share with you what is making me happy.
lets take it away folks!

+ when my precious baby boy wakes up and i can nuzzle his warm neck.
+ my long list of lemon recipes to try. our tree is bursting with the largest lemons you ever did see.
+ climbing into my bed at night with my heat pad and good book.
+ embroidery
+ that addie can READ! she cant pick up a large book and start reading, but she can read the book Go Dogs, Go!, signs of stores when we are driving, and words on ads in the mail. i love it!
+ vintage clothing.
+ and goodnight kisses, eskimo and butterflies included.

ps. thank you for your kind thoughts. they really meant a lot to me.
xo
J

wacky by cracky!

warning: what is written below is me pouring out my heart, venting, & in a way, writing to heal. they are very personal thoughts and feelings of mine.  keep in mind that this blog is for me.  for me & my family to read back in years to come. i dont expect sympathy, im writing for me. and i also write this to maybe help others who go through the same things and feelings. i have read blogs that share things that have helped me cope with things in my life. so maybe this will touch someone to know, they are not alone.

remember how i said yesterday that i will just wing it, and usually those are the best days?
well yesterday was not one of those days. it was awful.... to say the least.

ive been feeling a little out of sorts recently. ok... not a little... a lot. you know that feeling you get when everything just seems to be crashing down on you like waves. wave after wave and you are about to go under and drown in the sea. yes? i have struggled with anxiety a lot. i struggle feeling inadequate, guilty, insecure, unmotivated, impatient, and down right disliking myself. why?....i have no clue!  i have so much to be grateful for. i have SO MUCH! 
on a side note... i think my meds are wonky and i dont think im taking the right meds for me.
did i just throw that out there???
yes.... i take medication for depression and anxiety.
it was really hard for me to get to the dr. i felt that they would just say, "well, you have 3 young children and a husband with crazy schedule and everything else that life throws at people", and  just send me on my way.
but, they sat down with me and asked me questions and believed me that something wasnt right and that something could be done. when i left the office i felt a sigh of relief, a burden lifted off my shoulders.
my family didnt have to suffer my crab face anymore. i could be "normal" again.
anyway... i could go on and on about this subject and about my story.
so, lets talk.
ask questions.
share stories.